Sushi, Short-Shorts, and SEX APPEAL

15 Jun

Like the title? Yeah, be ready this post will blow your freaking mind.  Today I serve you up a two course post about food.  FIRST: My first tango with sushi!

So today I made it my mission to lose my sushi virginity.  To help me accomplish this, I brought my only asian friend in Cedar Park with me (and she’s only half asian!).

She's asian..asian enough.

The Restaurant: King Noodle on Cypress Creek Blvd. in Cedar Park.

I thought choosing a sushi entree would be simple, then I saw the menu. There were sushi rolls, specialty rolls, and sashami (apparently just raw fish without anything else, screw that).  After looking over the menu several times I decided on the spicy salmon roll.

The plate was served and I was about to just dig in like a freaking noob but then half-asian Libby jumped in to save me! Libby gave me this PROTIP: Before you eat sushi, you fill up the little sauce bowl they give you with soy sauce and then add a bit of wasabi to the side. Then you stir some of the wasabi into the sauce to make it as hot as you’d like it. Don’t put the whole thing of wasabi in, it’s considered bad sushi etiquette.  That and you will burn the shit out of your tongue.

Mixing the wasabi like a freaking champ

Next: It was finally time to consume this uncooked edible.  It looked innocent enough, and there was no funky smell emitting from the plate.  After struggling with the chopsticks like a dyslexic kid trying to read Shakespeare, I finally was able to pick one of the pieces up and place it in my mouth.
The Texture: I think the best way to describe the raw fish combined with the avocado is “gooey”.  It was gooey and chewy.
The Taste: It wasn’t awful.  In fact it wasn’t bad at all.  But I feel like sushi is an acquired taste, like coffee, Animal Collective, and urine (Bear Grylls does it).

Spicy Salmon Rolls 7/10

I think I’ll definitely try sushi again, I wasn’t the biggest fan of the spicy seasoning on the salmon roll so I’ll try something different next time.  I’d spend more time on this review but I’m too excited to start the second course of this toast!

IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW- At the Chick-Fil-A locations in the Austin area, there is currently a special happening every tuesday of this month.  If you show up in pajamas from 5:30pm-8:00pm you get a free greasy, buttery, breakfast entree. AMERICA.  Chick-Fil-A doesn’t give a shit about heart disease and lazy youth, you’re rewarded for looking like a bum at 6 in the evening! Hell yeah! I was more excited for this special day than I was for MLK Day, Presidents Day, and Boxing Day combined, so needless to say I was all but jizzing my pants on the drive to Chick-Fil-A.

The Outfit:  I had to go all out for this y’all, it’s not often that one gets to go out in public at such an hour wearing pajamas (unless you live in Alabama, Arkansas, Mississippi or Lousiana).  Luckily I had been making tie-dye shirts at Alayna’s house and she apparently has a shitload of pajamas. Seriously, Alayna “has her own bathroom”. Her pajama’s were all hand woven with platinum and gold threads by Egyptian kings.  ANYWAY, she wouldn’t let me wear those because she was afraid I’d get jizz on them so I had to settle for her collection of PJ’s she wears when she wants to know what it’s like to be a poor person (or to her, middle class).  Of course I went for the shortest shorts I could find, then paired that with a lovely pink fleece bathrobe.  CLASSY.

The "Do Me" pose

I’ll be honest, on the drive to Chick-Fil-A I kind of felt embarrassed that I was actually going to go out into public looking like this. But then I sacked up and put my game face on.  Once inside, we were asked if we wanted to be in a picture with some high schoolers and a giant cow. God I love this country.  There were several other people in there wearing PJ’s but none of them were packing as much swag in their shorts as we were. They even gave us free spicy chicken sandwiches! (which aren’t very good btw..)

Have you ever seen a picture more awesome than this? No, you haven't.

After dining on our “delicious” meal of chicken ass and grease it was time for us to take our talents elsewhere (first I had to down my 32 oz cup of lard)

Yum, lard!

Taking our talents elsewhere. Note Big Sean's epic PJ's and Alayna's baggy swag

Aight y’all I’m done for now. I’d like to thank everybody who’s actually read what I’ve posted. On my 3rd post I’m already nearing 200 views.  Check out the link to Audrey’s Blog ‘Adobe Slabs’ on the blogroll to the side, she has a new post about the terrific band YACHT she cooked up today!

❤ xoxo

Shirt says it all. #swag


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