Bruce Jenner vs. Brody Jenner

9 Jul

So this year I somehow got suckered into watching “Laguna Beach”.  Which is a gateway drug for “The Hills”.  I won’t waste your time talking about how annoying it was when LC kept going back to Jason, how freaking hott Audrina is but for some reason dated a douche named “Justin-Bobby”, and how Spencer looked exactly like a monkey.

Oo Oo! Ahh Ahh!

 

Instead I’m here to discuss LC’s occasional love interest on the show, Brody Jenner.

Side-Boob

 

First of all, what a caucasian name.  It’s up there with Chaz/Chet/Chad/Chase/Maxwell/and Hunter.  All I can think of when I hear names like “Brody” is Lacoste polos, water polo, and country clubs.
Moving on.

When I saw him appear on the show I was like “Oh snap son, that’s Bruce Jenner’s son!”

Quick lesson if y’all dont know Bruce Jenner:

#WINNING

Bruce Jenner was an Olympic champ in the decathlon in 1976 Olympics.  He’s hella rich from being a badass.
Also, he has a smoking hot step-daughter:

YES please.

 
This lead me to think, is Bruce disappointed that his son is pretty much a useless sack of bro-junk?

Bruce was a star athlete in college.
Brody didn’t even go to college.

POINT: BRUCE

Bruce trained 8-10 hours a day for the decathlon
Brody: We can assume pretty much lays around and does nothing for longer than that every day

POINT: BRUCE (2-0)

Bruce is an extremely successful businessman and public speaker despite being dyslexic.
Brody’s official occupation is a socialite.  Only in America can one get paid for this..

POINT: BRUCE (3-0)

Bruce has had more plastic surgeries than the amount of points he scored in the decathlon.
Brody  has hooked up with Kristin Cavallari, LC, and a Playmate of the Year

hmmm POINT: BRODY (3-1)

Bruce had/still has a successful and meaningful career.
Brody: When Brody gets a little bit older, his “Socialite” career will no longer exist.

POINT: BRUCE

Final Score: 4-1

 
Admittedly it’s probably hard to measure up to your dad when he was/is such a badass.

Maybe Brody will start training for 2012

Maybe Audrina will marry me one day

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One Response to “Bruce Jenner vs. Brody Jenner”

  1. 90 е годы January 23, 2012 at 11:36 am #

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