Archive | December, 2011

EatRunSwag’s Final Lists of 2011!

31 Dec

2011 is finally coming to an end tomorrow night, and wow what a year it has been for running.  I have already made two lists for this year, which can be read below.  Thank you all for showing so much support for my blog since I put it up and I hope 2012 will contain even more good posts and merchandise to come as soon as I figure out how to set an online store up and get some designs! Here are the final lists.  ENJOY!

Best 2011 Men’s Breakout Performance:

Ciarian O’Lionaird’s Summer Stampede

I imagine that everybody in Ireland looks exactly like this

While most of us were just chilling out at the lake this past summer, Ciaran was out getting some serious work done on the track.

2011 Bests: 1500m-3:34, 3000- 7:50, 5000-13:33, 10,000- 28:32

Not only did he destroy his PR’s after a very up and down career taking him from Ireland to Michigan to Florida State, but he made the WORLD FINAL.  Hell of a breakout year.  Not only did he win the Breakout Athlete of the year but he is also the recipient of the MULLET OF THE YEAR  and the MOST LIKELY TO DRIVE A CREEPY WHITE VAN AND HAND OUT FREE CANDY awards

Best 2011 Women’s Breakout Performance:

Desiree Davila’s Boston Marathon

An American Marathoner unafraid to lead/push the pace??

Wind aided times be damned, 2:22:38 is unreal.

The Gerry Lindgren Award:

CAM LEVINS

Cam seen sleeping in the pic above, because assumably every minute he is awake is spent running

This award title can be a little misleading, no it’s not an award given to a man who completely abandons his family and kids and escapes to live in Honolulu, Cam is probably a great dude not an absolute psycho d-bag (yeah, that’s for you Gerry.).  Instead this award is given to the person known to be running the most insane amount of miles, much like Gerry did before he turned into a scumbag.  In an interview that surfaced on a website this xc season ( http://runnersfeed.com/interview-with-canadian-national-cross-country-champion-cam-levins/) Cam claimed to have averaged 155+ miles per week for the fall.  That’s nuts.  But if you were told 160 miles a week would give you a chance at getting 4th at the NCAA’s, would you? Shit, I would.

BEST/LEAST CONSISTENT RUNNING BLOGGER OF THE YEAR:

ME.

Swag.

Suck it Trebek.

Biggest Pepsi-Max Addict of the Year:

Alex Gibby

Honestly this is the closest to smiling Gibby has ever gotten

Next time any of you coaches see the Gibbster at a meet, please ask him how many Pepsi Max’s he’s consumed so far that day.  This guy drinks Pepsi-Max like it’s his job.

LOUDMOUTH OF THE YEAR AWARD:

NICK SYMMONDS

This one's for the ladies

Nick Symmonds created the Facebook Group “I’m Tired of USATF and IAAF Crippling Our Sport”, also known as “That Damn Facebook Group that Keeps Sending Me F&*^*&g Notifications!”

I’m not knocking on Nick here though, it’s good that somebody took the initiative to point out the flaws in the system and hopefully some change for the better will come from the protests.

Although Nick maybe tone it down a bit and focus on the upcoming games, we need to stop getting our asses kicked by the world in mid-D

MORMON OF THE YEAR:

MILES STORMIN MORMON BATTY

Caffeine, he hates it!

It was a tough choice between Mitt Romney and Miles, but Miles actually has a chance of winning something in 2012. ZING!

MUSTACHE OF THE YEAR:

WILL LEER.

BEAUTIFUL, TEARS IN MY EYES

The man in the middle in the above pic once donned one of the most impressive staches to ever grace the face of God’s best creation, man.  Unfortunately, a girl who runs for Michigan, and won’t be mentioned (HER NAME IS ALEX) made him shave it, proving that girls are all evil hateful creatures (except for my girlfriend and my mom).
THE FINAL AWARD….

EATRUNSWAG’s MAN OF THE YEAR-

MATT “Mr. Steal Yo’ Girl” CENTROWITZ.

Swaggin

Why is he the man of the year over people who have run faster? Because, A.) He got a medal at Worlds, B.) He doesn’t look like Galen Rupp.  This is our hope, our future, the chosen one.  TEAM CENTRO, GET EM.

This long I swear

EatRunSwag’s Female (Mostly American Distance) Runners of the Year

29 Dec

I’ve done lists of the worst things in distance running so far, here’s a positive one finally. The top (mostly US) female distance runners of the year.

3.) Sheila Reid

Swag as F&*$

I had to include a collegiate runner on this and the pick was easy. Sheila Freaking Reid. Ok, yes, I know she’s Canadian, but I’m grouping her with the US gals for now.

2011 Accomplishments:
Indoor- National Champ DMR, Runner up in NCAA 3k, Big East Champion, Regional Runner of the Year, 8:56 3k and 2:43 1k
Outdoor- First athlete to ever win the 1500/5000 double at NCAAs, Big East Champion, 4:11 1500 best and top collegiate 1500 runner at Mt. Sac, Regional Athlete of the Year
XC- National Champion, Undefeated, USTFCCCA Athlete of the Year

She’s unstoppable right now. Armed with a deadly kick that has gotten the best of Oregon’s golden girl Jordan Hasay, and armed with even more deadly good looks, she is the girl to watch for the 2012 indoor and outdoor NCAA seasons.

2.) Shalane Flanagan

DAYUMM GIRL

This is an easy one. Shalane’s trophy room boasts over 9000 OVER TEN national titles and, oh yeah, AN OLYMPIC MEDAL. Damn, Swag. 2011 was another great year for Shalane as she embarrassed the entire field at the US XC champs at the end of 2010 and started off the new year by finishing 3rd at the world xc championships. No easy task. Definitely one of our greatest hopes for a medal in 2012.

Also noteworthy to point out that in 2011 she had the number one time in the 3k, 5k, and 10k.

1.) Jenny Simpson

Compare with above

WHOA, when you google image search for this girl make sure you search for “Jenny Simpson Barringer”. “Jenny Simpson” gets you some pics you don’t (or do?) wan’t to see.

Anyway, a lot of people have said ‘Uceny would have won’, ‘her time was slow, slow year’ blah blah blah. Could’ve wouldve should’ve, at the end of the day only one US distance running woman won a World Championship this year, and a W is a W.

Honorable mentions: Desiree Devila, Hasay, Uceny, Huddle

5 Worst Pieces of Running Gear of 2011

20 Dec

1500 views yesterday, thanks y’all!  Probably won’t post for a couple days now, going to spend the day with the gf and her family tomorrow then off to Texas Wednesday morning. Here’s the next list!

The WORST pieces of running gear from 2011

5.) VIBRAMS

Die.

While technically not new to 2011, they seemed to get more popular than ever this year.  So popular that I’ve seen people wearing them in the store, in restaurants, and in class.  STOP IT.

Side Note- Barefoot running can be good for you.  So instead of paying 120 bucks, why don’t you just find a soccer field and do a few miles barefoot to supplement your running?

4.) RUNNING IN CARGO SHORTS

YOU are what is wrong with running.

You’re probably laughing and thinking “ha this must be a joke, surely nobody runs in cargo shorts!!?”. Oh my brothers, I wish this was true.  I have seen over 100 people running in cargo shorts, vibrams, and a polo this year.  Let’s put an end to this meow.

3.) Gatorlytes

NEVER EAT PLAIN. OMG HORRIBLE.

While incredibly useful for replacing electrolytes, this shit is horrible if you don’t mix it with enough liquid. Or if you’re lazy like us and just pour it in your mouth and chase with a little bit of water.

2.) Mom-Spandex Shorts

I just vomited on my keyboard.

This one’s a bit chauvinistic, but I am a young guy (well kinda young still), so don’t blame me blame the hormones. This is aimed at girls 18-30.  If you’re fit and skinny, you should wear 2.5-6″ at the most spandex for shorts.  Those 6+” pairs that go up to your bellybutton and halfway down your thigh make you look like a mom. Sorry.  (Anybody older than that just shouldn’t wear spandex shorts, go for the pants, moms)

There, that's better Alex.

1.) SKETCHERS RUNNING SHOES

Not even a poor shoeless Kenyan would accept these.

MEB! *facepalm*

Unless you’re Meb. K., don’t do it.  Absolutely nothing Sketchers makes is cool, unless you’re 6 and you like velcro shoes.

EatRunSwag’s Best/Worst of 2011: Top 5 WTF? Moments of 2011

19 Dec

Howdy, I hope everybody had a splendid offseason, I know I did.  But Indoor is just around the corner so be smart with your return to running!

Anyway, I’ve decided to make some lists of the best/worst of 2011 in the running world (inspired by Pitchfork, not Flotrack).

Today is the first list, the (probably offensive) list of the top 5 WHAT THE F#CK? moments of 2011.  Let me clarify that this isn’t a “whoa that was impressive, wtf” type wtf, this is a list of things that genuinely made us shake our heads and go, “Really, Galen? WTF?”  Here we go:

 

5.)  The Sammy Wanjiru Fiasco

Fastest marathoner in heaven/hell

After Beijing, Wanjiru established himself as the best marathoner in the world, winning both London and Chicago.  In 2010 Wanjiru ran into legal troubles when he was accused for threatening to kill his wife and possessing an AK-47.  It was all downhill from there for the star marathoner and he fell off a balcony in an apparent suicide in May of 2011.  No jokes will be thrown into this one, it was truly a sad loss for our sport. RIP Sammy, we’ll always remember your bold as hell race in Beijing.

 

4.) Stember Runs 19:30 for 5k after making huge deal about sub 18

Could Webb break 18 right now?

After making a big deal about raising money for some charity if he broke 18 in a 5k, Stember, former sub 4 miler, completely shit the bed and ran 19:30.  He wouldn’t make the Fayetteville Manlius girls XC Squad.  For his sake I sure hope he’s enjoying all the beer he must have had to get so pathetically out of shape. WTF man?

 

3.) Galen Rupp’s Pollen Mask

Sadly, this is the most intimidating he's ever looked.

The obvious highlight of last years USA Track and Field Championships was Galen Rupp’s Pollen Mask, created specially for people who are sensitive to breathing in air.  Most of the country already sees our sport as a joke, thanks for continuing to give them something to laugh at Peter Pan.

 

2.) Kim Kardashian’s Wedding

Maybe he realized seeing her in this big dress that she's actually a crappy person when you can't see her ass.

17.9 million dollars for a wedding that lasted less than a semester of college. Shame on you.

 

1.) The University of Oregon

A.) LV LEAVES

See ya suckas!

B.) CENTRO LEAVES

Finally, I'm out of this shit-hole!

C.)  Vin Lannana Rumors?

How much longer do I have to suffer here..

D.) THE MEN DUCKS DON’T QUALIFY FOR NATS

Luke about to Tebow?

E.) JORDAN HASAY OUTKICKED..AGAIN

#TeamSheila

 

Damn, ducks, 2011 was not your year.  Dunbar will be a much needed asset, he’s a good dude, so hopefully he can turn things around for you.

 

Honorable Mentions:

Adam Goucher Retires- Wait didn’t that already happen a while ago?
Vig. Retires- Will we ever know that story?
German F. Puts Together a Successful XC Season- Finally!
Riley Masters Transfers to Worst State in the Country (Tied with Ohio of course)

 

 

I’ll try and make the next one nicer.  But hey, ya know what they say in ebonics, “If you ain’t being hated on, you ain’t doing sh*t”