Tag Archives: swag

Eatrunswag’s WORST of 2012

30 Dec

Worst of 2012:

WHAT A YEAR- right?? The Olympics delivered, the NCAA saw the birth of a new mileage hog superstar, and we learned track girls like to get dirty too (well any of us on college teams already knew this). But for every good thing that happened in the sport this year, about 5 bad things happened. While performance-wise it was a great year, the political and media side of the sport continually dropped the ball, or, for puns sake, the baton.

So without further adieu, I present to you the eatrunswag list of the biggest fails of 2012 in no particular order.

(FYI- I just typed this in a McDonalds in Amarillo, Texas. Still 5 hours more to drive today. #DEDICATION )

NYC marathon handling:
No disrespect to anybody effected by Sandy, much love. But holy hell, the handling of the NYC marathon was a total sh-tshow. Regardless of what side you were on, I think we can all agree that the non running American public watched in amusement as directors and officials decided what to do at the last minute. I did enjoy hearing, however, stories of some of the world’s best marathoners getting absolutely blasted upon hearing about the cancellation and showing up to the press meeting the following day very hungover. Ask your local elite marathoner for specifics.
(My 2012 post about it: http://eatrunswag.com/2012/11/04/breaking-news-with-nyc-marathon-cancellation-all-in-ny-back-to-normal/)

The perfect storm of idiocy

The perfect storm of idiocy

Doping road racer-
Because we seemed to enjoy making our sport even more of a joke to the public eye this year, one of the few running related stories to make it to mainstream media (NY Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/15/sports/runner-christian-hesch-describes-doping-with-epo.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0 ) was the story about Christian Hesch using PEDs to win road races. Here’s to hoping this scumbag never wins another fun run again.

I don't always dope. But when I do, I make sure I do ridiculous things like pushups before the finish line to show people how much of a douche I am

I don’t always dope. But when I do, I make sure I do ridiculous things like pushups before the finish line to show people how much of a douche I am

Lance Armstrong-
Dude, rough finish to this year.. Now I don’t really care about you being a cheater, because I assumed you were doping anyway, and I assume anybody in the top 50 is juicing. You were still probably the best since everybody else was on the same stuff, but you probably should just stop lying. Enjoy being very broke soon I guess..

2013 is going to suck more than a Ryan Reynolds movie :'(

2013 is going to suck more than a Ryan Reynolds movie 😥

With the current ‘fiscal cliff’ nonsense going on due to the apparent inability of our lovely government to be able to focus on the needs of the American people, it’s fitting that one of the BIGGEST FAILS of the year was USATF and their sketchy ass way of keeping American track and field athletes poor. Big ups to Nick Symmonds for actually being useful for something other than slamming beers, babes, and 800m races. I sure hope the next USATF president knows what they’re doing. I also hope he/she will let all this trash talking I’ve done towards the USATF slide should I eventually become good and want to run in a respectable meet ❤
(My post on Rule 40: http://eatrunswag.com/2012/07/29/rule-40-the-keep-em-poor-rule/ )

Hey gurl, I know you're busy screwing up our sport, but I just wanna make a few bucks. I believe in you <3

Hey gurl, I know you’re busy screwing up our sport, but I just wanna make a few bucks. I believe in you ❤

Ok call me a douche but I just don’t think it’s at all impressive when AN AMERICAN RECORD HOLDER makes a ‘comeback’ by running VERY mediocre college times. It makes for some entertaining letsrun comments and sure makes my job easier though. ALAN- STOP being a head case, you are a good runner. I actually do have faith you have some good races in you yet.

If we could even just get this Webb back in 2013...

If we could even just get this Webb back in 2013…

Message board posters and blog commenters –
First- some of the commenters on my blog. Jesus Christ. For the 100th time, this blog is in existence for the sole purpose of adding some fun criticism into this sport. I was tired of how boring running blogs were. (I’m sorry but I’d rather re-read the Scarlett Letter than read a daily inspirational running blog. That stuff is similar to the mundaneness of Christian worship music in my book). Every time I poke fun at some elite runner I get hoards of middle aged hobby joggers calling me full of myself and an a-hole.
Second- letsrun posters, re-read this post: I definitely LOVE letsrun, don’t get me wrong, the front page is fantastic. But the message board can frequently get SUPER racist. Damn y’all. It’s 2012.
(Post on this from 2012- http://eatrunswag.com/2012/05/17/letsrunmessageboardposters/ )



You let that sketchy ass agent Block into your tent at the trials despite him supposed to have been serving a ban from the sport for BEING A CHEATER ( http://www.letsrun.com/2012/block-0701.php ). Also, kicking out the Brooks guys. We understand you make good product but do y’all have to be such dicks about it?



Sub 2 marathon dude, training with weights.-
Nice article written by my skinny dipping partner Ryan Sterner on Flotrack on this guy: http://www.flotrack.org/article/13438-Hobie-Call-Sub-2-Hour-Marathoner

His 24min lunging mile world record, however, is quite impressive.

His 24min lunging mile world record, however, is quite impressive.

Geared up runners-
This post: http://eatrunswag.com/2012/09/21/running-in-groups-with-ipods-stop-this-madness/ . You hobby joggers never fail to make me hate this sport.



Ashton Eaton ESPN-
Ok I don’t have to preach to the choir here, I’m sure all of you are in agreement that Ashton Eaton’s world record and Olympuc victory were some of the greatest performances in the history of sports. But ESPN rated some kid catching a baseball in his hat higher than his performance.. Although I guess we shouldn’t take to much stock in a program that allows Lou “Lispy” Holtz and Steven “I know his mother” Smith to be official representatives for football and basketball.

ONLY 10th!!!???

ONLY 10th!!!???

Paul Ryan marathon lie-
Lying about your marathon time as a politician is as ridiculous as lying about your marathon time as politician. Who cares, why would you lie about such a trivial thing? Oh well, gotta give the repubs credit for being 2 for 2 on running sexy Vice Presidential candidates. Here’s my politician PR post from 2012: http://eatrunswag.com/2012/11/06/election-day-post-politician-prs/

I know how you're so fit, because you've been running through my mind all day

I know how you’re so fit, because you’ve been running through my mind all day

To be fair, the big guy probably tops a ‘best of’ list if I was to make one as nearly every athlete who won an event in London was only able to do so because he let them (read this fellow wolverine’s post, SPOT ON: http://rustywoods.wordpress.com/2012/07/02/jesus-the-don-draper-of-the-2012-us-olympic-trials/ )) but for every athlete that didn’t win.. Well, it was part of his plan. And his plan for you just isn’t as fun as Usain Bolt’s, sorry bout it!

I was gunna make humans run sub 2 hours in the marathon..but then I got  too busy with my creation of AIDS and what not

I was gunna make humans run sub 2 hours in the marathon..but then I got too busy with my creation of AIDS and what not lol sorry my bad!

Very inconsistent, disappears for long stretches of time, picks on famous runners, isn’t that good of a runner, etc. sorry, maybe ill be better this new year.

Stashie's for Nashies went well this year.

Are you not entertained?


The Real Maine Bros

21 May

Tonight at 6PM is the premier of the long awaited “The Real Maine”.  If you haven’t heard of it, where the hell have you been?
Here is the link to the site where the movie will be streaming, along with clips and info about all of the guys:


I’ve met most of these guys before and they’re real chill, which is one of the reasons I’m so excited something like this was made.  I think Erik sums it up best when he said ”  It’s one thing to see Kiprop run 3:30, but when you see someone who’s relevant to you run well it raises the level of expectation. It’s like, I know what he does, how he trains, how he lives. If he can do it why can’t I?”.  This is a regular, albeit talented, group of guys who are extremely dedicated to what they do.  They are REAL runners.

Here’s a quick last minute series of interviews I put together with some of the guys. Thanks so much dudes, we will continue to enjoy watching you kick ass this year.

Mark Feigen:

Feigen or Gerard Butler?


How did Kyle approach you about this trip to Maine? Were you pretty much on board right away?

Kyle asked me what my plans were for the summer and I told him that I didn’t have any. He said he had been talking to Riley and Erik about getting together for the summer and asked if I would be interested in joining them. It seemed like it probably wouldn’t happen but since I had no other options I said I was in.

When I’m home in the summer in Texas I get to run with a lot of runners from different teams such as Texas, Tulsa, and Arizona. Getting to run with people from different programs is one of my favorite things to do since it’s a nice little refresher from the normal school-season training and it allows me to learn about a lot of different point of views on training. What did you learn from this group of guys that helped with your running (philosophies/training aspects)?

Getting to run with guys from different schools and areas is definitely one of my favorite things too. Training and talking with Riley and Erik showed me that there are a lot of different ways to accomplish the same goals. Erik has probably run twice as many miles as Riley since being in college but somehow they have very similar PR’s. Different styles work for different people but as long as you believe in your own training you have a good chance to be successful.

Sharing running philosophies. Or discussing peeing in public

I know some people who have headed out to New Mexico for the summer to train and I’ll be doing a stint in Colorado, do you think the change of location helps focus on the training while keeping things interesting, and what would you tell somebody who is still on the fence about doing something like this?

Getting out of the usual training environment and into something different is a good way to keep training from getting stale. When i’m in the city I do the same runs all of the time and taking a break from that for portions of the year is fun and makes me excited to get back to school in the fall when the season starts up again.

Avoid this cabin in the woods though, unless you have Bruce Campbell with you (Anyone know this reference?)

How many runs did you drop Merber on?

We probably only dropped kyle on a few runs but he definitely complained about us going too fast pretty often. Riley loves to one-step.


Kyle Merber:


When we hung out in Ann Arbor last year, I believe you were only running about 2 to 3 miles a day. In case there are readers who don’t know, tell about what your setback was and how you overcame it to have such a successful year:

In August of 2010 I stepped on a piece of glass while on a training run. It pierced my trainer and tore my flexor tendon. I was out for 7 months and my entire junior year. It took two bouts of PRP to help me overcome the tear. This was a tough time in my life, and Erik does a great job of doing that struggle justice in the film. There was a large chunk of time when I became quite depressed because the future of my career was in question. But one day I will look back and view this as the turning point for me. The reason I was enthusiastic to be a part of the film is I wanted to give credence to those who are injured and say that it gets better. Once you encounter a serious injury, it becomes part of who you are as a runner. And that’s a powerful vendetta.

All of you have had some pretty impressive successes this season, most recently your 3:35 comes to mind. Do you attribute some of this year’s successes to the time spent out in Maine? 

I don’t necessarily point to Maine as the reason for any of our success. However, I think that anyone who shows a willingness to dedicate oneself to training will experience improvements. We weren’t the only group of college kids to have a training camp in the summer, we just did it with a film major. I definitely think getting a great base in is essential for any runner, and we all walked away with some new found strength. That probably could have been accomplished in most US states, and probably even parts of Canada, but we had a lot of fun in the process.

Most flattering pic I could find from the meet

Related to the last question, what do you think is the biggest thing you learned/took from The Real Maine Experience?

The biggest take away I left Maine with is that there is an infinite number of ways to train. Over the course of the summer, we had plenty of talks about workouts and training plans. Every one of our coaches brought something different to the table, but all produce results. The main objective in training is to find a way to stress the body, and then recover so you come back stronger. The variables employed to accomplish that goal will vary greatly.


This is less of a question and more of a request, I think you should grow just a ‘stache for track natties, how do you feel about that?

Request: Denied. I am a light beard kind of guy.

P.S–I stand by “easy days easy.”
Riley Masters:

Wrigley Field Riley

What is one thing you learned about each guy there while in Maine?

Mark and Erik always have something witty and funny to say. There aren’t a lot of serious conversations that go on around them. Mark is the kind of guy who will call you out on anything, he keep you on your toes. Erik is the guy in the group who finds a few good one liners and uses them obsessively in every situation. Chris is a super competitive kid. Whether he is racing, playing wiffleball or horse shoes he is GOING TO WIN! Kyle is the kind of guy you go to if you need advice; but regardless of the problem you go to him with, he’ll give you some kind of antidote about his injury or winning millrose. In all seriousness, they were a great group of guys to spend the summer time with. All of them are extremely hard working with very big aspirations. I learned a lot from all of them.

words of wisdom from the Millrose Champ

When asking Erik about the funniest thing/story of the trip he told me to ask you about that one, is it a story you’d like to tell?

The story Erik is referring to involves a minor procedure I had when I was a freshman in high school. I would love to share it with everyone, but I am not sure I could do it justice with out telling it in person. The content of the story is jaw dropping but my timing and delivery is what makes it great!

All of you “Real Maine” guys are having great seasons, which is great because to the viewers it helps validate everything that you guys say in the movie. Looking back at your college career so far, what kind of advice would you give to the graduating high school seniors who will be going into their first semester of college next fall to achieve the levels of success that you, Erik, Chris, Kyle, and Mark have?

The advice I would give to young runners is to be patient. Running isn’t something that comes to you overnight. Sometimes it takes a while for all of your training to pay off, but if your patient and stick with it then eventually you will see the benefits and rewards of all that hard work.

Hard work is paying off, 3:37 is blazing.

Erik van Ingen:


I read in a previous interview that the idea stemmed from Quentin Cassidy’s escape to the cabin in the novel Once a Runner. This has actually been something that I, and I’m sure many other runners, have dreamed of since reading that fantastic book. To all of us who have had this in the back of our heads but have never acted upon it, would you recommend it and what words of advice do you have in terms of finding a place and a group of people to do it with?

I would definitely recommend it. It was a fun summer, the best of my life. My advice is keep it basic, real cheap. To quote fight club, “It’s only when we have lost everything that we are free to do anything”. As far as a group, chemistry is key. The dynamics of how each person interacts within the group is priority. We knew that going into the summer and stayed true to that.

Running to him was real..

Here’s where I try and ask some questions that haven’t been asked yet.

This film is your final project/thesis type film, correct? Who do you consider some of your artistic influences and who is your favorite director?

Yeah, this project was my senior thesis ,after the fact though. I had another project lined up, but bailed it for this. TRM was too good of an opportunity to pass up. I look for artistic inspiration in a lot of different places. I think that’s how an artist is pieced together is being influenced by so many things that you can sift through the good and bad and create a style that reflects you. I really admire well rounded artists. Mos Def comes to mind for me. He’s one of the most influential hip hop artists of our time, he performs on broadway, he’s been on screen with some of Hollywood’s biggest actors. I also like figures that transcend genre, like what the Fugees have done with their live performances. I think being able to combine multiple influences to create a unique sound is brilliant. I’m using hip hop as an example mostly because that’s something that I hold close to me in terms of a personal interest, but I feel that I can still pull ideas from other forms of art and have them compliment whatever it is that I’m working on. As far as a favorite director, I’m a huge Derren Aronovsky fan. His aesthetics are so dark and gritty. The struggle and internal conflicts that his films deal with are something that have always resonated with me. I can’t relate to wrestling or dealing heroine, but the ideas that are conveyed by the subject matter is something that I can relate with.

Yo it’s 6 Million Ways to Die, from the seven deadly thrills,
Eight-year olds gettin found with 9 mill’s

I don’t think many people realize how good of a skier you were (I assume you still are). Do you still hit the rails in the winter?

Skiing, that was my first love. It will always have a spot in my heart. Unfortunately this was the first year in my life that I didn’t ski. I see skiing as a detractor from my training. It’s a very tiring sport as is running. Pounding out a run in the morning then spending the day at the hill is a bit too much for my body. At this point, my eggs are all in the running basket so I’m fine with it. I’ll always have skiing when I decide to hang up the spikes.

Did Kyle get dropped on every run you did?
Kyle got dropped many a time, he also did some dropping. Contrary to popular belief he’s not a big pussy.

Did y’all have workouts to do while out there and if so did everybody do their own separate workouts or were there times when y’all did them together?

We were all on different schedules. Mark and Kyle had similar workouts being that they have the same coach. Riley’s training was flexible so at times he would hop in with them. As for me, I was getting back into things after a long outdoor season so I was just getting in some miles. We had some days where we had to do our own thing, but for the most part we all ran together.

Bros before hoes

Tell me about your decision to release this online for free to the public:

As for releasing it online for all to see. I want this to be something that others can appreciate. Everyone is going to pull something different from it. For some it will be a different perspective, others might be motivated. Whatever it is, I want a lot of people to see it and I want a lot of people to pull something positive from it that they can apply to their own running. Making it to view for free is only going to heighten the exposure. I’m young with very few expenses. I figure I have plenty of time to make money in the future. Right now it’s about fine tuning my skill set and promoting what I do.

We appreciate the hours of work you put into this

One of the most intriguing things about this film to me is that it’s by runners that people like me can actually relate to. From the clips so far it looks “real”, that’s the best way I can describe it. It’s not a Saint Ralph, but rather a down to Earth group of guys who are willing to do whatever it takes to reach their goals in the sport. What do you hope viewers take away from the film?

That was one of the biggest things I was going for, was making something real, something relatable. We are college kids working our asses off to be the people that we want to be. Almost every runner our age can relate to that manifestation of self. I think a great example is Kyle running 3:35. That came out of nowhere. We were texting the other day and he said the first thing he thought when I ran 3:38 was “shit, I need to get to sleep so I can get on my horse”. It’s one thing to see Kiprop run 3:30, but when you see someone who’s relevant to you run well it raises the level of expectation. It’s like, I know what he does, how he trains, how he lives. If he can do it why can’t I?

No guts, no glory

In retrospect, what do you think is the most important thing you got out of this trip? Sorry that’s kind of broad. 

This trip was the first time that I could just relax. I can get super tightly wound. I was able to just get away, do something new, and have fun. I had a purpose, but no outside stress. We were a bunch of kids out running on some dirt roads, nothing more, nothing less. As a filmmaker I have grown a lot in the past year because of this film. I learn very well in a hands on environment. There’s no better way to learn about making a movie than to actually make a movie. For the group as a whole, I think there’s this bond that we hold. We’re not teammates and we sure as hell aren’t doing each other any favors when it’s race time. A bystander wouldn’t notice, but we can look each other in the eye and know that there’s something there. We are the real Maine.

Olympic Trials Weekend Recap

17 Jan

I’d like to point one thing out- With promising to post 3 blogs a week, not all of my posts are going to be “brilliant”. Quantity might replace Quality a bit. But there will definitely be pieces I spend a lot more energy on tonight.  Also, my most popular posts are the ones that are mean. So..I guess I’ll have to be mean more often.

EDIT: Writers on the LetsRun site, from time to time you feature a link to my blog on your front page and thats awesome I love it, it brings in 1000’s of visitors! But from time to time there’s posts, like this, where I ruffle some feathers talking about religion. I’d rather this post not be put on LR, if you were to ever consider it. Everything else is cool though go for it when ya like a post! And if ya’d ever like to contact me, ornelas@umich.edu is the place to do it!

Also, I don’t intend to stop saying “Swag” yet. If you don’t like it, that’s cool. Go read RunnersWorld and learn how to train for your first marathon in an easy 6 week plan!

Without further adieu, here is a recap of those who Swagged the Eff out at the Olympic Trials Marathon this weekend, and a recap of those who failed to impress me/us.


American Flag, Neon Sketchers, Winning = SWAG AS F**K

A.) Meb is 36 years old.

B.) He races in Sketchers.

C.) He’s not in everybody’s face about how awesome God is.

D.) He made another Olympic Team at 36 YEARS OLD!

What’s not to like about Meb? He’s not cocky, he’s been a major player in our sport for a long time, and the guy has been producing solid results year in and year out.  Maybe he wasn’t the race favorite, but he proved to us he should have been.


I admit it....I'd wear these.

Ok, I realize I made fun of Skechers in an earlier post. Mainly because velcro shoes and Shape-Ups are a fashion disaster and you should be punished for wearing them.  But The GOrun shoes Meb has been rocking…well….He has me sold. Along with confirmation that they are very comfy from a friend at UT who has a pair, and Meb’s success in them, I’m convinced they can’t be half bad. There. I said it.


Click on Pic above to get full text. I have a feeling God also loves Brady more than Tebow.

Ryan Hall is the Tim Tebow of our sport.  Yeah he’s good at what he does but the whole fact that “God” is his coach and that he resembles the token super religious kid that I assume almost all of you have encountered on your cross country team at some point.  You know, the one that made you feel bad about hooking up with that totally hot Tri-Delt the night before? The one who tried to convince you a trip to FCA would be more fun than playing Skyrim all night?  I wish more star athletes were Satanists, it’d be much more fun to interview them. “Yeah, I sacrifice a goat before each race and rub the blood on me. It’s really relaxing. Hail Satan!”


A face only a deity could love.

As much as I’d like to make fun of this guy for a whole blog post, he made the Olympic Marathon team for a second time in a row. Which is more than I, or anybody reading this blog, has ever done.  So for that, a tip of the hat to you, sir.


The Black Cactus.



Flotrack >

No live coverage? FOR AN OLYMPIC QUALIFYING EVENT?  Thankfully Twitter was on fire during the trials and made it easy to follow the marathon online.  Still, not the same…



Shalane is a beast. If anybody thought she wouldn’t win, well, they were probably the same people who voted for Bush the second time.  She’s still good looking too, nice job bb.  (still luv u Kara)


How I felt when he finished too 😦

I’m a Ritz fan, I wanted him to win. But, dude, half tights in a marathon? What the hell? That’s why you didn’t make the team.  Thats why. Facepalm.

Until next time…EAT, RUN, SWAG.

EatRunSwag’s Final Lists of 2011!

31 Dec

2011 is finally coming to an end tomorrow night, and wow what a year it has been for running.  I have already made two lists for this year, which can be read below.  Thank you all for showing so much support for my blog since I put it up and I hope 2012 will contain even more good posts and merchandise to come as soon as I figure out how to set an online store up and get some designs! Here are the final lists.  ENJOY!

Best 2011 Men’s Breakout Performance:

Ciarian O’Lionaird’s Summer Stampede

I imagine that everybody in Ireland looks exactly like this

While most of us were just chilling out at the lake this past summer, Ciaran was out getting some serious work done on the track.

2011 Bests: 1500m-3:34, 3000- 7:50, 5000-13:33, 10,000- 28:32

Not only did he destroy his PR’s after a very up and down career taking him from Ireland to Michigan to Florida State, but he made the WORLD FINAL.  Hell of a breakout year.  Not only did he win the Breakout Athlete of the year but he is also the recipient of the MULLET OF THE YEAR  and the MOST LIKELY TO DRIVE A CREEPY WHITE VAN AND HAND OUT FREE CANDY awards

Best 2011 Women’s Breakout Performance:

Desiree Davila’s Boston Marathon

An American Marathoner unafraid to lead/push the pace??

Wind aided times be damned, 2:22:38 is unreal.

The Gerry Lindgren Award:


Cam seen sleeping in the pic above, because assumably every minute he is awake is spent running

This award title can be a little misleading, no it’s not an award given to a man who completely abandons his family and kids and escapes to live in Honolulu, Cam is probably a great dude not an absolute psycho d-bag (yeah, that’s for you Gerry.).  Instead this award is given to the person known to be running the most insane amount of miles, much like Gerry did before he turned into a scumbag.  In an interview that surfaced on a website this xc season ( http://runnersfeed.com/interview-with-canadian-national-cross-country-champion-cam-levins/) Cam claimed to have averaged 155+ miles per week for the fall.  That’s nuts.  But if you were told 160 miles a week would give you a chance at getting 4th at the NCAA’s, would you? Shit, I would.




Suck it Trebek.

Biggest Pepsi-Max Addict of the Year:

Alex Gibby

Honestly this is the closest to smiling Gibby has ever gotten

Next time any of you coaches see the Gibbster at a meet, please ask him how many Pepsi Max’s he’s consumed so far that day.  This guy drinks Pepsi-Max like it’s his job.



This one's for the ladies

Nick Symmonds created the Facebook Group “I’m Tired of USATF and IAAF Crippling Our Sport”, also known as “That Damn Facebook Group that Keeps Sending Me F&*^*&g Notifications!”

I’m not knocking on Nick here though, it’s good that somebody took the initiative to point out the flaws in the system and hopefully some change for the better will come from the protests.

Although Nick maybe tone it down a bit and focus on the upcoming games, we need to stop getting our asses kicked by the world in mid-D



Caffeine, he hates it!

It was a tough choice between Mitt Romney and Miles, but Miles actually has a chance of winning something in 2012. ZING!




The man in the middle in the above pic once donned one of the most impressive staches to ever grace the face of God’s best creation, man.  Unfortunately, a girl who runs for Michigan, and won’t be mentioned (HER NAME IS ALEX) made him shave it, proving that girls are all evil hateful creatures (except for my girlfriend and my mom).


MATT “Mr. Steal Yo’ Girl” CENTROWITZ.


Why is he the man of the year over people who have run faster? Because, A.) He got a medal at Worlds, B.) He doesn’t look like Galen Rupp.  This is our hope, our future, the chosen one.  TEAM CENTRO, GET EM.

This long I swear

Swagged Out Runner of the Year: Lukas Verzbicas

26 Jul

Thanks for letting me do this Lukas. I don’t know whether you go by Luke, Lukas, or Lukas-Bieber, so I’m going to call you LV.

The 400m of the race I was in front of LV before getting absolutely destroyed

There have probably been a ton of articles about you on the web, but it’s safe to say this one will be a little different. Before putting together these interview questions, I went to a couple of online running message boards and asked actual runners of all ages what they wanted to know about you. Here’s what America, the greatest country on Earth, wants to know about you.

Did Bieber steal your haircut, or did you steal his?
Who’s Justin Bieber???

Baby, Baby, Baby Ohhh

What kind of product do you use for it?
Mane & Tail

LV, he's an animal.

Do you have a girlfriend?
At the moment no, had to end all relationships before leaving to Oregon 😦 It sucks.

What is your idea of a perfect romantic evening with the girl of your
dreams (the girls want to know, so try and be specific with this one!)
Anything would be perfect with the girl of my dreams but if I had to choose I would make her a really nice dinner, then we would go out to a concert (either John Mayer or Dave Matthews Band) that’s at a beautiful park where afterwards we would walk around in the dark holding hands while eating ice cream. Once we have nothing more to say to each other we would just gaze at the stars and end up kissing. We would have to be in the moment to know where things go on from there…

2 is always better than 1

Do you have any interesting/odd talents?
I can hold my breath under water for a ridiculously long time, never lost that contest. I can go without sleep for days. I hold one of the records at my old basketball club for most free throws made (I can’t remember the exact amount, but I wasn’t good enough to pursue it over

Pic taken right after LV held his breath under water for 3 days.

If you had to choose one sentence/quote/phrase that describes the way
you live your life, what would it be? 
Find something you are passionate about and do it with enthusiasm,
then you will never have to call it work.

What is your favorite animal, and why?
Gazelle, when I was little I was told I look like one when running.

Looks just like you bro

Are there any other sports that you are good at?
Basketball all the way.

*Insert Only Plays 3 Quarters Joke Here

Favorite Book?
Way of the Peaceful Warrior and 4 Hour Body

Favorite Movie?
Justin Bieber: Never Say Never… Haha just kidding. Being a runner I’m sort of obligated to say Without Limits, but I actually love the movie so it’s okay. I’m also a big fan of Where The Wild Things Are and Bruno.

LV <3's Bruno

How much can you bench press?
Never tried it, but probably more than you suspect. Swimming requires arm strength.

OK, on to the running questions.

For these first few, I have had several requests from high school
runners wanting to know about how you have trained these past several

What kind of summer training did you do in high school to build your base (mileage, cross training)?
My training consisted of swimming, biking, running. This is a lot different than what high school runners do so I cannot really relate. Per week Average: 20,000-25,000 yards swimming, 110-130 miles biking, 30-40 miles running. The endurance and strength work is done in the pool, while speed and speed-endurance is done on the bike and run. This means that unlike typical triathletes I don’t bike over 40 miles at a time but it’s usually fast. Running is usually always some kind of workout unless it’s a shake out run. Swimming is where the recovery and endurance work is completed.

Did you do workouts in the summer? If so, how early in the summer did
you start them and how often did you do them?
Of course I do workouts. They are all done through out the entire summer, but as I said it’s not just running so that’s a little different.

Did you have a favorite workout in high school that you would do often?
I really enjoy fartleks, it’s hard but it produces amazing results. In high school it would typically be 8×2 minutes with 2 recovery in between, or ladder 1-2-3-2-1 twice or three times with same recovery in between.


Out of all of your impressive victories and races, which one meant the most to you, and why?
Running sub 4 means the most to me. Maybe my two-mile time is more impressive but I’m most proud of the sub 4 because of the conditions that it was achieved in. Rain, wind, and the best high school competition in history made it so much more meaningful to me.


Ok, with the internet being full of rumors, usually false, let’s just
clear some things up so no more dumb rumors will go around.

State it here for all to see: Will you be attending, and competing for, the University of Oregon next year?
I don’t know why that would be a rumor, but yes Oregon for all those.

At the current moment (and I know many things may change with coaching decisions and how you perform on the track on college), when do you think you will focus your efforts on the triathlon again?
Unless running isn’t working out I don’t think I’ll be focusing at all on the tri, maybe just a recovery swim or bike here and there but nothing serious.

Would you attribute a lot of your success to the strength you gained in the triathlon?
Most definitely, the aerobic base I have from triathlon I couldn’t have ever gotten in running alone.

The Champ is Here

What are your biggest goals for the future? (Running, Tri, a career, anything)
Don’t want to reveal too much, I like to keep the anticipation, but a team national championship in the present and the Olympic Games down the road are a must for me.

LV, you should do a tri on this.

I have decided to award you the High School Runner Swag-Star of the Year award (The HSRSSOTY , It’s super prestigious).
I believe you deserve this award for absolutely crushing the souls of every high school runner you’ve raced in your penultimate HS year. In addition, the swagger you bring to the track has been very impressive.
I thought your finish at Footlocker, while some less important people found it cocky, was awesome. Take it all in when you finish, enjoy the moment, why rush through it right? Congratulations on receiving this award.


Time for your award speech!
Thank you very much! It sounds a lot cooler than many other awards I’ve received so it is definitely meaningful to be recognized in such a way. I think distance running needs a persona from its athletes that is cool and hip or as we like to call it “swag”. Seems to me we have that in high school and even at the college level, but we have to carry it over to the pro level as well. I mean look at Usain Bolt and sprinting, we have do something similar to what he is doing. Anyway I don’t want to get too bashed for saying such suggestions, there always seems to be someone who will criticize me and say his or her idea is better, but hey I’ve grown pretty used to it by now. I love reading about track online and the great things our fans love to say to us athletes, it’s just one more thing that makes distance running so unique to be a part of. So thanks again, it really means a lot, even if it’s just to me.

Any Shout-Outs?
I would be no where near where I am today without my family, thank you so much. They taught me almost everything I know and I’m glad my parents are moving on to spread their knowledge to other athletes as coaches right now. Also my friends and the community I live in, Orland park, is so great. The support is nothing like I expected, it’s really been the best these last few years, I will really miss this place, thank you.

Lukas V, a family man.

Pretty Girl Swag

25 Jun

Ok, girls with nice boobs are hott.  Girls with blonde hair are hott.  Brunettes are hott.  Redheads, Puerto Ricans, and hipster chicks are hott.

But you know what really gets me going, y’all?


Swag it out bb

I bring to y’all my list of the most SWAGGED THE EFF OUT chicks in the game.


The Queen of Lezbo Swag furreal

Ellen has a hilarious show, a super banging hot wife, a mad fresh dougie, and Lil B has an entire song about her. Swag.  If I was a girl she could convert me into a lesbian for sure.

Nice Steeze bb

Bottoms Up Y'all

Everybody knows that Uffie was the first Ke$ha.  She’s like the Ke$ha of Williamsburg.  This girl has the ‘skanky’ swag.
# 5 Dijonay Jones from the Proud Family


Before the word swag even existed this chick was killin hoes and swaggin out on the Disney Channel.

# 4 Lady Gaga

Born This Way bb

Nice Pokerface bb

Lady Gaga is weird as hell.  Swag and weird kinda go hand in hand though, so Lady Gaga is SWAG as hell.  This chicks level of swag turns me on furreal. I’ll go to the Edge of Glory with you.

# 3 Kreayshawn

Damn girl whatchu sippin on


Gucci Gucci Bluntz

Kreayshawn hangs with Lil B, smokes purple ‘all day’, and is rising to fame via Youtube.  Watch ‘Gucci Gucci’, you’ll fall in love.  Love ya gurl ❤

# 2 Justin Bieber

Baby, Baby, oh!


Chunk up the deuce bb!


Damn this chick has so much swag.  She single handedly turned every 8-23 year old girl in ‘Merica into a lesbian.  Watch out Ellen this chick is comin to take your lezbo swag queen crown!



Barbie Girl Swag

Blinged the Eff Out

Dat Ass


Nicki Minaj is the baddest, most swagged the eff out, ill b!tch in the game aiight?  I’ve had steamy dreams about this girl.  From her multiple personalities on Yeezy’s “Monster” to her maple syrup butt, everything about this girl screams SWAG.

And I love it.


Need a good hip hop playlist to turn your swag on to? Audrey put out a gangsta-ass playlist full of songs you’ve probably heard yesterday. Check it @ Adobeslabs.com (link on the blogroll too)


❤ y’all, I”m over a 1000 views now!

Sushi, Short-Shorts, and SEX APPEAL

15 Jun

Like the title? Yeah, be ready this post will blow your freaking mind.  Today I serve you up a two course post about food.  FIRST: My first tango with sushi!

So today I made it my mission to lose my sushi virginity.  To help me accomplish this, I brought my only asian friend in Cedar Park with me (and she’s only half asian!).

She's asian..asian enough.

The Restaurant: King Noodle on Cypress Creek Blvd. in Cedar Park.

I thought choosing a sushi entree would be simple, then I saw the menu. There were sushi rolls, specialty rolls, and sashami (apparently just raw fish without anything else, screw that).  After looking over the menu several times I decided on the spicy salmon roll.

The plate was served and I was about to just dig in like a freaking noob but then half-asian Libby jumped in to save me! Libby gave me this PROTIP: Before you eat sushi, you fill up the little sauce bowl they give you with soy sauce and then add a bit of wasabi to the side. Then you stir some of the wasabi into the sauce to make it as hot as you’d like it. Don’t put the whole thing of wasabi in, it’s considered bad sushi etiquette.  That and you will burn the shit out of your tongue.

Mixing the wasabi like a freaking champ

Next: It was finally time to consume this uncooked edible.  It looked innocent enough, and there was no funky smell emitting from the plate.  After struggling with the chopsticks like a dyslexic kid trying to read Shakespeare, I finally was able to pick one of the pieces up and place it in my mouth.
The Texture: I think the best way to describe the raw fish combined with the avocado is “gooey”.  It was gooey and chewy.
The Taste: It wasn’t awful.  In fact it wasn’t bad at all.  But I feel like sushi is an acquired taste, like coffee, Animal Collective, and urine (Bear Grylls does it).

Spicy Salmon Rolls 7/10

I think I’ll definitely try sushi again, I wasn’t the biggest fan of the spicy seasoning on the salmon roll so I’ll try something different next time.  I’d spend more time on this review but I’m too excited to start the second course of this toast!

IN CASE YOU DIDN’T KNOW- At the Chick-Fil-A locations in the Austin area, there is currently a special happening every tuesday of this month.  If you show up in pajamas from 5:30pm-8:00pm you get a free greasy, buttery, breakfast entree. AMERICA.  Chick-Fil-A doesn’t give a shit about heart disease and lazy youth, you’re rewarded for looking like a bum at 6 in the evening! Hell yeah! I was more excited for this special day than I was for MLK Day, Presidents Day, and Boxing Day combined, so needless to say I was all but jizzing my pants on the drive to Chick-Fil-A.

The Outfit:  I had to go all out for this y’all, it’s not often that one gets to go out in public at such an hour wearing pajamas (unless you live in Alabama, Arkansas, Mississippi or Lousiana).  Luckily I had been making tie-dye shirts at Alayna’s house and she apparently has a shitload of pajamas. Seriously, Alayna “has her own bathroom”. Her pajama’s were all hand woven with platinum and gold threads by Egyptian kings.  ANYWAY, she wouldn’t let me wear those because she was afraid I’d get jizz on them so I had to settle for her collection of PJ’s she wears when she wants to know what it’s like to be a poor person (or to her, middle class).  Of course I went for the shortest shorts I could find, then paired that with a lovely pink fleece bathrobe.  CLASSY.

The "Do Me" pose

I’ll be honest, on the drive to Chick-Fil-A I kind of felt embarrassed that I was actually going to go out into public looking like this. But then I sacked up and put my game face on.  Once inside, we were asked if we wanted to be in a picture with some high schoolers and a giant cow. God I love this country.  There were several other people in there wearing PJ’s but none of them were packing as much swag in their shorts as we were. They even gave us free spicy chicken sandwiches! (which aren’t very good btw..)

Have you ever seen a picture more awesome than this? No, you haven't.

After dining on our “delicious” meal of chicken ass and grease it was time for us to take our talents elsewhere (first I had to down my 32 oz cup of lard)

Yum, lard!

Taking our talents elsewhere. Note Big Sean's epic PJ's and Alayna's baggy swag

Aight y’all I’m done for now. I’d like to thank everybody who’s actually read what I’ve posted. On my 3rd post I’m already nearing 200 views.  Check out the link to Audrey’s Blog ‘Adobe Slabs’ on the blogroll to the side, she has a new post about the terrific band YACHT she cooked up today!

❤ xoxo

Shirt says it all. #swag